I know this title is a bit cliché, but if we all be honest for one moment words can hurt. They especially have the tendency to cut really deep when it’s from someone you love or care about. Couples need to learn to communicate….effectively. Communication is not yelling, screaming, or getting your point across. Communication is talking, listening, and constructive feedback. This time you may be wrong. Take time to analyze the situation before you shoot off grenades. MOST IMPORTANTLY- when you realize you are wrong, apologize. If you do not know how try is……Explain your initial reaction then transition into how you understand where your partner was coming from. Name-calling, pointing fingers, and telling someone who they are(stupid, irresponsible, ignorant) or what they do( never take out the trash, talk too much, always get on my nerves, etc) is wrong. I feel statements work the best. Example “Most times I feel that you are not responsive when I talk to you, and it hurts me”. NOT” You always get on my nerves when I’m talking to you and you ignore me”. Which one sounds best to you???? All in all….learn how to communicate, it’s key.
Kristen,
ReplyDeleteIf only individuals would realize this from the start. I definitely agree that words can hurt and most of the time its one or two words that do the most damage. Referring to someone as something degrading usually cuts really deep. People have to understand that no relationship or person is perfect and that everyone has a right to their own opinion. The opposite sex can disagree with their counterparts opinion, but do it in a way that is tactful like you mentioned with explaining the initial reaction then transitioning on how a person understands where the other person was coming from. Another point is to try and work through every situation and problem that may arise. DO NOT wait until later to solve the problem. Nine times out of ten, one person is even more angrier than they were when the problem was created because they may feel that they are due an apology or didn't get their problem across. Very good points Kristen. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!
I find though that some people love the drama that steams from horrible communication. It seems that initially the arguing, then making up is fun for most people. After a few months of that cycle one person gets tired of it, and start to complain. If living in chaos suits you, so be it. But if you want a peaceful relationship you must learn to communicate.
ReplyDeleteYou may need to write a book on this issue. lol My inability...well I won't even say inability. My unwillingness to communicate effectively is the one of the reasons why I've only been in one relationship in my life. smh I think I need to speak with a shrink lol
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